Breaking and Entering

Please. We've all been a suspect of breaking and entering at some point in our lives. I mean, really, who hasn't? The other night I was, too. And I can only blame myself and my inattentiveness to the house alarm. It turns out leaving the window open after you go out to take the dog for a walk and have locked the front door trips the alarm and alerts the authorities.

And thankfully, like good guests, they call before sending over a team to break down your door. The phone was ringing and ringing and I finally answered:

Me: Hellöööchen?

Alarm Guy: This is Herr Something German. Who is this am Apparat??

Me: Uhhh. (I realized later that my hesitation only served to support his suspicions of me. But, really, who calls and demands to know whom their speaking to? I clearly remember the record my parents used to play about strangers.)Iiiiich. Biiiin... Heidi. (As if dragging out my words was going to help something?)

Alarm Guy: The house alarm has been going off at our station for a quarter of an hour. No where do I have your name registered to that house. What are you doing there?

Me:(This is where I stop eating the chips I had just opened and start to take things seriously.) I'm...living here right now. With Mocha. The dog. I'm watching the dog.

Alarm Guy: I've had 40 years of experience in this business. I need more explanation than that. How do I know I'm not talking to the woman who just broke into this home?! I'm about to send the police by.

Me: (Well, now, that would be embarrassing for everyone involved. Mostly me. But, what could I do?) Listen, Alarm Guy, you can send the police by if you want to. I'm staying here for 3 weeks dog sitting. I don't know why the alarm is going off! The owner is in the United States.

Alarm Guy: She needs to call me immediately and prove you're telling the truth or not. What time is it in America? After midnight?

Me: What? No. (Breaking and entering is his thing, not time zones, after all.) It's only 5pm there.

Alarm Guy: What were you doing 15 minutes ago?!

Me: (That's not really his business, but okay.) I put my pajamas on, and went onto skype. I was, you know, chatting on the computer and eating some chips.

Alarm Guy: I mean, what did you do to set the alarm off?

Me: (Slightly embarrassed now as he didn't really want to know that other stuff. But this is where we started to clear things up, as I remembered the opened window. I explained the whole scenario to him and he started to calm down.)

Alarm Guy: All right, I've identified you as a positive. (Apparently the term for those who are not breaking and entering.)

Me: I'm really pleased about that. And sorry about this. I'm only here for another 3 days, I don't think we'll have to talk again.

The greatest part about my convo with Alarm Guy was that I convinced him I was a positive in German. I'd say my feeling of satisfaction in that was pretty much worth being suspected of home invasion.